Let's be for real. Self-love isn’t always pretty, polished, or easy. But it’s necessary. It’s powerful. And it’s the reason XO by ALN exists in the first place. So we sat down and answered some real questions about what it means to love yourself — for real. No gatekeeping, no performative “wellness,” just our raw truth.

✨ What does self-love mean to you?

ALN: For me personally, I would say it means the permission to live your life as authentic and fulfilling as possible. It is an act of rebellion against societal norms that tell us we should conform to the status quo and remain quiet. Self-love is reclaiming your power to draw the line.

DWW: To me, self-love means to give yourself the same (if not more) love and appreciation that you would give to a loved one. It's about doing what's best for you and is really the foundation of true happiness. When you start doingi things for yourself, you really begin to flourish!

✂️ Why is drawing the line important?

ALN: Drawing the line is extremely important because without it you become susceptible to any and everything. It is about standing your own ground for what you believe in and not being afraid to show up when needed. Those lines you draw end up becoming your personal guide on creating a life best suited for you.

DWW: Drawing the line is one of the key actions that comes out of self-love. I think this phrase sums up why it's so important: "If you stand for nothing, then you will fall for anything" by Alexander Hamilton. Basically if you don't stand on your values/beliefs by drawing the line when necessary, then you run the risk of living your life for others rather than for yourself. 

💌 How does XO support your self-love journey?

ALN: XO supports my self-love journey by continuously reminding me of the power I possess to draw the line. Along with being a constant reminder to draw the line. XO also helps me remember the importance of balancing the love I receive and the love I give, to those around me and to myself. It is not just about showering myself with love, but also ensuring that I pour love into my relationships, communities, and the world around me as well. XO hasn’t judged my self-love journey it’s always just making sure I keep showing up for myself, however that looks.

DWW: Honestly, when I'm wearing my XO I just feel like I'm him. It's really just a flex to show that I know my worth and that I'm willing to stand on it by drawing the line. 

💡 When did you realize that self-love was important?

ALN: From a very young age as early as I can remember my parents have always told me I was special and that God created me beautifully. Around elementary is when I noticed my appearance was much different from my peers, but I never let it hinder me, instead it gave me permission to stand out and overcome the fear of being judged for how I looked. I knew I looked different but all that mattered was how I felt about myself and what I did with my life.

DWW: I actually remember the exact time that this happened for me. It was the 1st time I had kissed another boy, and immediately after we both regretted it and started to pray so we wouldn't go to hell. In that moment I thought - "wait, why should I be punished for doing what felt right to me?" So instead, I eventually chose to love myself for who I am and not beat myself up over it. That was one of the most freeing experiences I've ever had in life and I thank God for that realization. 

🪞 How did you learn to love yourself?

ALN: I am still learning how to. There are ways of showing myself love that involve affirmations, self-care, being active or doing things that make me happy. Learning to truly love myself has been an ongoing battle that I am glad to have XO apart of. I know that as long as I can keep the reminder that I deserve to love myself, live freely, and draw the line then I’ll continue conquering this self-love journey.

DWW: After the experience with the other boy, it was actually pretty hard to find love for myself at first. While I wanted to love myself, I was taught my entire life that people like me should change who I am, so I had to unlearn a lot of that self-hate. This was not an overnight thing, and I would say it wasn't until I met ALN that I truly found love for myself through love for him. TLDR; I unlearned self-hate to not are what people thought and followed my heart.

💭 What's the difference between self-love and being selfish?

ALN: When I think of self-love i think about how it is rooted in respect for your personal well-being and for the better of those around you. Whereas selfishness is in the interest of only yourself and the expense of others. Self-love gives back while selfishness only takes away.

DWW: I sometimes battle with myself whether I'm acting in self-love or being selfish because I never want to negatively impact others on my journey. I think to distinguish self-love and selfishness it really comes down to whether you're truly doing something to improve yourself or to put yourself above others. Basically, like most other things it's about the intent. Let me give an example:

ex: Grandma asks you to visit after you've just come home from work.

Self-love: "Sorry grandma, I really need to stay home to recharge mentally and physically"

Selfish: "Sorry grandma, spending time with you isn't that important for me right now". 

Both have the same exact outcome (Grandma doesn't get to see you), but one prioritizes your well-being while the other puts yourself above your grandma. 

🌱 What are the benefits of loving yourself?

ALN: The benefits I find from loving myself is confidence, pride, and forgiveness. The confidence I feel from showering myself with affirmations or even giving myself a smile in the mirror has helped me feel like I can walk any runway, star in any movie and belong in any room that I step foot into. The pride that comes from drawing the line is almost magical, as a (working on it) people-pleaser it truly helps me step out of a reality where I follow the heard and into a newfound universe where I lead a life best suited for me. Showing myself love has also came with forgiveness, it has helped me channel a kinder voice within my head to help drown out the inner saboteur of guilt and self-doubt. 

DWW: Nowadays I live so freely and just move with so much confidence that I usually don't even think twice about how other people feel or think about me. I know that I am a gift to this world and I get to move through it freely rather than in the shackles that society tries to place on me. This freedom, confidence, and self-respect has brought me to places I only dreamed of years ago. 

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If you’re still figuring this whole self-love thing out, you’re not alone. We’re walking this journey right next to you — one boundary, one fit, and one empowered choice at a time. XO isn’t just fashion. It’s a vow to choose yourself. Loudly. Proudly. Daily.

Now tell us: What does self-love mean to you? Drop a comment or tag us on IG @xoaln_originals to keep the convo going.